This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
