So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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