Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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