I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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