We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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