You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
