Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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