I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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