Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
