And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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