I just made out with a guy for $7.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
