I hate all girls vehemently.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
