Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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