physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
