she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
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How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
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After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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