im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
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I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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