Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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