I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
