Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
