I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Girls should come with a carfax report
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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