dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
