I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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