Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
