Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.

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  (248): he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast. http://tfl.nu/sg9r
  Replies (32) Good night (946) Bad night (7011)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry

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  (252): U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry http://tfl.nu/sko0
  Replies (41) Good night (3936) Bad night (1518)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.

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  (503): My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night. http://tfl.nu/xdrw
  Replies (19) Good night (640) Bad night (4505)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?

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  (508): she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution? http://tfl.nu/2bly
  Replies (15) Good night (4779) Bad night (770)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.

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  (205): It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette. http://tfl.nu/u0k7
  Replies (30) Good night (7167) Bad night (1114)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.

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  (816): She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years. http://tfl.nu/8lob
  Replies (19) Good night (1831) Bad night (5509)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.

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  (512): Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food. http://tfl.nu/f716
  Replies (19) Good night (1735) Bad night (4032)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?

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  (360): Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life? http://tfl.nu/1n7v
  Replies (14) Good night (4006) Bad night (798)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?

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  (940): Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito? http://tfl.nu/3rt4
  Replies (11) Good night (2359) Bad night (546)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.

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  (678): Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask. http://tfl.nu/uqhe
  Replies (16) Good night (2707) Bad night (630)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.

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  (412): So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on. http://tfl.nu/mz2g
  Replies (6) Good night (1093) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.

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  (916): The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight. http://tfl.nu/8kai
  Replies (6) Good night (1094) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.

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  (907): Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig. http://tfl.nu/jc5y
  Replies (6) Good night (990) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me

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  (607): Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me http://tfl.nu/qp3z
  Replies (2) Good night (621) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex

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  (410): I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex http://tfl.nu/t4yi
  Replies (1) Good night (308) Bad night (98)

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