Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?

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(413): I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old? http://tfl.nu/y7lt

Replies (4) Good night (1038) Bad night (526)
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(330): View more from Ohio

ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended

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(330): ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended http://tfl.nu/6iyq

Replies (4) Good night (1500) Bad night (580)
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(858): View more from California

in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"

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(858): in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby" http://tfl.nu/q8vs

Replies (54) Good night (2073) Bad night (4791)
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(914): View more from New York

fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.

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(914): fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no. http://tfl.nu/w88c

Replies (17) Good night (1155) Bad night (5813)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.

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(781): his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me. http://tfl.nu/jba1

Replies (5) Good night (2301) Bad night (930)
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(816): View more from Missouri

If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.

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(816): If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing. http://tfl.nu/vitq

Replies (3) Good night (1264) Bad night (1238)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!

(715): View more from Wisconsin

I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.

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(608): But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full! (715): I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering. http://tfl.nu/shs1

Replies (5) Good night (2331) Bad night (735)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.

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(612): i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough. http://tfl.nu/e9ws

Replies (1) Good night (1164) Bad night (885)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.

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(856): I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help. http://tfl.nu/4hfj

Replies (1) Good night (599) Bad night (1458)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.

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(+44): So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me. http://tfl.nu/ocor

Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (803)
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(434): View more from Virginia

High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.

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(434): High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world. http://tfl.nu/0gxn

Replies (3) Good night (758) Bad night (461)
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(518): View more from New York

Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.

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(518): Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors. http://tfl.nu/nr6l

Replies (2) Good night (1149) Bad night (930)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom

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(815): I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom http://tfl.nu/3qo4

Replies (2) Good night (859) Bad night (547)
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(330): View more from Ohio

do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr

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(330): do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr http://tfl.nu/tk9o

Replies (0) Good night (772) Bad night (361)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"

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(612): Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing" http://tfl.nu/gmpq

Replies (3) Good night (391) Bad night (288)

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