Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.

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  (917) And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater. http://tfl.nu/gzmt
  Replies (2) Good night (992) Bad night (522)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti

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  (770): I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti http://tfl.nu/zbwe
  Replies (36) Good night (23131) Bad night (1207)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.

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  (402): Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl. http://tfl.nu/cd5h
  Replies (20) Good night (5477) Bad night (714)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today

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  (503): Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today http://tfl.nu/xs2q
  Replies (10) Good night (1084) Bad night (3563)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.

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  (330): the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom. http://tfl.nu/2arl
  Replies (12) Good night (4917) Bad night (958)
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  (845): View more from New York

  He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.

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  (845): He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver. http://tfl.nu/r9iy
  Replies (39) Good night (10226) Bad night (1197)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.

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  (734): i seriously wanted to pee on her right then. http://tfl.nu/4s0s
  Replies (15) Good night (1757) Bad night (2474)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...

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  (570): He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on... http://tfl.nu/xr5e
  Replies (12) Good night (2282) Bad night (1009)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  oh. my. god. yes.

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  (360): i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life. (1-360): oh. my. god. yes. http://tfl.nu/jrnd
  Replies (14) Good night (5795) Bad night (1410)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.

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  (402): My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself. http://tfl.nu/70br
  Replies (13) Good night (3226) Bad night (635)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.

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  (256): I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now. http://tfl.nu/ogzg
  Replies (2) Good night (744) Bad night (1167)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning

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  (416): I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning http://tfl.nu/fy90
  Replies (10) Good night (600) Bad night (1097)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn

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  (989): Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn http://tfl.nu/8cqk
  Replies (6) Good night (523) Bad night (1013)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.

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  (816): The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles. http://tfl.nu/r0bo
  Replies (4) Good night (234) Bad night (596)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The entire state will know me by my boobs.

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  (304): The entire state will know me by my boobs. http://tfl.nu/8hqf
  Replies (3) Good night (455) Bad night (205)

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