So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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