So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
