You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize