toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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