Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
