Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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