well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize