I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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