Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
