Im at strip club and am horny
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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