I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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