someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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