yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Randomize
