Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Randomize
