His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
