There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize