You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
