white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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