at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize