she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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