Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
