We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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