reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
