and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
