He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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