Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Your penis caused this!
This toilet bowl is my home.
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