She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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