when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
