Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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