I feel great
I just peed on a car
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
