I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize