I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
